The End of the World Spell
by GrinGrin
Summary: Louise's summoning, an event that can cause untold horror or hilarity. Take a seat and listen to the story of the spell that destroyed the world she knew.
1. No One Can Hear You Scream

_I do not own Familiar of Zero/Zero No Tsukaima or any of the other pieces of work mentioned in the story._

**The End of the World Spell**

**No One Can Hear You Scream**

Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière had actually succeeded in her summoning.

She wondered if anyone was more surprised that she was. Her magic had refused to flow while she was chanting, but when she finished… it felt like something had ripped loose deep inside her.

Hence her position, namely on her hands and knees, barely stopping herself from just vomiting. A noble didn't do things like that. They couldn't. It also gave her a close-up look to her summon when the smoke finally cleared.

She had a number of conflicting impressions. It looked like some unholy mix between a spider and a scorpion. It was the hands of some frail giant conjoined at the base. It was some elaborate prank. All these thoughts ran through her head while she watched the spindly thing shuffling around.

But she had done it! She had summoned something. The fact that everyone around her looked puzzled could only be a good thing, right? An unfamiliar familiar. Something never seen before. Even if it was weak, she had done something truly _unique_ for a change. She was smiling so widely that many of the students took a discreet step backwards.

She carefully picked the little creature up. It didn't feel at all like she expected tough. She thought it would feel cold and hard, like an eggshell or a beetle. Instead, it felt like leathery and feverishly warm. But, no matter what it was or how it felt, it was still hers.

So she lent in, even as its spindly legs gripped her arm. She could feel something wet on the inside of her wrist. It felt almost like when one of Pappa's hunting dogs had licked her. So her strange little creature did have a mouth! That was good. She could figure out what it ate later.

She pressed her lips against the back of the little creature and grimaced. It was hers, yes, but it was also really unpleasant.

The little one had gone slack when her lips touched it and so it had fallen off her arm. When the rune began inscribing itself on its back, it started thrashing around.

It made such pitiful noises as it was branded. More than a few girls (and not quite none of the boys) had to blink back tears. The small creature had stopped screeching long before it finished, and had rolled itself into a tight little ball.

When all was said and done, Louise had seemed to have summoned only a small, vaguely warm ball with a glowing rune on top.

* * *

Siesta had been one of the assigned maids who had to wake the third corridor's girls.

She didn't like it. No one did. It was the corridor that held so many of the stranger nobles.

Lady Kirche, who also flirted with whoever woke her up, even if her latest bed-warmer was still mumbling his (or her!) displeasure at being woken up.

Lady Louise was just as unpleasant in the mornings, taking a lot of effort to actually get up and then scolding whoever had spent the last ten minutes shaking her awake.

Lady Tabitha was the exception, though. She was quiet and demure, never ordered or scolded, always with a small smile. She was perhaps the only reason why servants still did their duty in this particular corridor.

But Siesta wasn't lucky today. She had to wake up Lady Louise.

Or maybe she was.

There were a lot of rumors about whatever the young Lady had summoned. Siesta was, by nature or nurture, extremely curious. For her to get the first peek meant that she finally was the one who had the juiciest gossip.

Siesta smiled as she went into Lady Louise room. She could instantly see where the familiar was. A small light was shining from where the runes were visible, just between the small peaks of the young one's breasts.

Siesta was very careful to be quiet as she moved closer to the bed. She reached out and lightly touched the small ball that shone so brightly. She froze when the young girl suddenly turned around, whimpering in her sleep. A small corner of drool escaped from the corner of her mouth.

Why couldn't she always be so adorable?

Siesta never noticed that the small ball had twitched or that it was now opening like some demented flower.

* * *

Louise had had enough.

Today, her familiar _was_ going to start moving around.

The day after the summoning the small ball had grown even colder and the runes weren't glowing anymore. They were just black stripes on the otherwise green skin of her familiar.

And the damned thing hadn't moved since then!

Really! That was just unacceptable.

So she had spent the following three days attempting to wake it up or make it do _something_ and nothing had happened. So here she was, in the dining room, racking her brain for things she hadn't tried yet.

She had spoken with it.

Pleaded with it.

Sang to it.

Poked it.

Threw it.

Threw it into a wall.

Threw it down some stairs.

Poured cold water on it.

Left food out.

Left an apple out.

Left a slice of uncooked meat out.

Kicked it.

Apologized to it.

Nothing worked!

Out of the corner of her eye she could spot the Stupid Maid who had caused her to be late for class. Really, fainting on the job? What kind of excuse was that?

Sniffing, Louise took the ball out of her pocket again. She was quite sure it was only warm because of her body heat nowadays. Deep in thought, she started twirling her wand in her hand, her meal still untouched.

Louise blinked.

Maybe she had been going about this all wrong! It was a familiar, a _magical_ creature! She should probably use her wand to try and coax it out. Maybe concentrate on the glyphs.

She stared at the ball, imagining the moment her magic had left her and the runes were inscribed on her frustrating familiars back.

Her concentration was broken by screams.

As she whirled around, she saw that the Stupid Maid had fallen down… again. Louise's brow furrowed the smallest bit.

She hadn't fainted. She was still screaming and writhing.

Suddenly, students around her were also screaming and backing away. Some even jumped over chairs or crawled under tables. Louise could fully understand that.

Because that maid's chest was heaving, her frock covered in blood. There was a terrible cracking noise and for a crazy moment it looked like the maid had a third breast.

Then the cloth ripped and _something_ crawled out of her.

The bloodstained lizardbugthing fell on the ground, mewling. It started trying to stand up, failed repeatedly and finally started crawling on all fours.

The horror-struck students rushed out of its way.

Louise sat deathly still as the thing came closer to her. It seemed to look at her with its eyeless head and then promptly sat on the floor. It rolled up into a loose semi-circle around her chair and lay there.

Louise could see the etching's of the runes on its strange ridged head.

They were horribly familiar.

* * *

AN: Because everyone who has seen Familiar of Zero has some ideas for horrible/humorous alternate summons.

I'm going with an old classic first, the Xenomorphs. _Which I don't own in any shape or form._

I think I'm going to alternate between horrific and humorous, and I'll try to keep it entertaining.

Read, enjoy, review.

~GrinGrin

Written: 14/12/2013

Posted: 14/12/2013


	2. Run

_I do not own Familiar of Zero/Zero No Tsukaima or any of the other pieces of work mentioned in the story._

**The End of the World Spell**

**Run**

Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt Zerbst actually had to fight to keep herself from giving the poor girl a hug.

She was trying so hard, she really was. Even if she was a brat, how could one look at her now and not feel a little bit sympathetic? Tears were sparkling in her eyes, for Brimir's sake!

But eventually everyone left her to her futile attempts. Well, almost every one. Professor Colbert was still there, mainly because the Summoning Ritual needed a supervisor. And Kirche herself was still there, although she was safely hidden behind a tree.

She was silently cheering for the girl, hoping against hope she would succeed. She may have been born into the wrong family, but no one deserved to have their dreams crushed so viciously.

Besides, Kirche had always had a sense. It didn't have a name, but she sometimes got a feeling when something was going to go either spectacularly wrong or extraordinary right. She'd gotten one of those when Louise had first started chanting. She wasn't going to leave until she saw what was going to happen, not at all.

And finally, something changed.

Louise had been quietly mumbling the incantation over and over for hours, but now there was a glimmer of her fire again. If nothing else, Louise was incredibly stubborn. But Kirche could _feel_ something was about to happen, she felt it in her _bones_.

Louise stood up straight, after hours of slowly bending under her failures.

Louise spoke clearly, after hours of half-hearted mumbling.

Louise gestured precisely, after hours of half-assed wandwork.

And finally, finally something happened.

Each summoning was accompanied by some sort of effect. Smoke, fire, ice, a small earthquake, sound light, _something_. And that something was usually a sign of the familiar being summoned, both in its nature and its power.

So when the whole school was lit up by a sudden shaft of light accompanied by an earth-shaking roar?

People took notice.

But Kirche was one of the three witnesses who actually saw what happened.

Louise had summoned something. Something glorious.

His muscles stood out like cared oak. His calves were perfection. His thighs exquisite. And his bum… Kirche had to tighten her grip on the trip to prevent herself from running forward.

His back showed of muscles she hadn't even known existed. And his shoulders… she had to physically wipe of a string of drool.

Kirche was witness to the whole thing. Louise summoning the _god_, her reaching up to kiss him, Professor Colberts' surprise about the runes, the way his muscles flexed when he moved. If someone were to have seen Kirche then, they would have assumed she was swinging-on-the-chandeliers drunk, so red was her face and so wide was her smile. The swaying didn't help.

Then he turned around. Her eyes slid across intriguing hips, chiseled abs, huge pectoral muscles, a toned neck and then she was literally blinded by his smile.

When she blinked the tears out of her eyes, it was only to let out a cry of horror.

Many were confused over her scream of absolute revulsion, until they saw the titan Louise had summoned.

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THE _EEEEYEEEEEBRRROOOOOOOOOWWWWWSSSS_!"**

* * *

Kirche could forgive Louise many things. She really could. But summoning that (almost) perfect hero and not demanding he shave his eyebrows?

Never.

The man was a _beast_. From the very first day he was summoned, he never stopped moving. He ran around the schoolgrounds in the mornings, he helped the servants with their tasks, he twirled knives and forks until they blurred, he tapped his fingers, he shuffled his feet. She wouldn't be surprised if he walked in his sleep. Or even if he didn't sleep at all. He was twitchy in his own skin.

And then he started dragging others into his madness. Louise was seen running alongside him on some days, on others he would carry her while she lay crying on his back. Then Tabitha joined them, stopping and leaving well before the juggernaut tired. Then, of all the people in the world, _Malicorne_.

It did him well. Really, really well. The boy had shed weight like leaves. And then the girls started flocking to him of the new abs and immense stamina. And where something attracted girls, Guiche went. And then Montmercery went to keep an eye on Guiche.

And it all snowballed from their until everyone was until the crazy man's tutelage. Nothing was ever quite the same.

Especially when the Headmaster, in either a fit of generosity, spitefulness or lechery, had bought a suit like the man wore for _every single student_ and made it mandatory.

Now Kirche **had** to participate. She was proud of her assets, but not so much of her _ass_ets. Spandex wasn't very flattering to someone with her figure after all.

* * *

AN: Tried to do something a bit different, both in the summoning and in the POV.

And I couldn't think of someone more off the wall than the great Maito Gai from Naruto-fame.

_I do not own Naruto._

Now then. I feel that Gai is extremely undervalued as a character. He's eccentric, yes. But he is also a god of battle. Anyway, Gai can whip anyone into the best shape of their lives and that was kind of the point of the story. If he were real… ladies would flock to him, I'd wager. Nice guy, strong, smart, determined, loyal and built like Hercules? Oh yes.

Except for his two deal-breakers.

I thought Kirche would work nicely for this chapter _because_ of the aforementioned point.

Hence this little slice of absurdity was born.

Read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

PS - I think I'm going to include one Incredibly Lame Pun every chapter.

Horribly _familiar_ in chapter one

and _ass_ets in this one.

Written: 14/12/2013

Posted: 14/12/2013


	3. Infection

_I do not own Familiar of Zero/Zero No Tsukaima or any of the other pieces of work mentioned in the story._

**The End of the World Spell**

**Infection**

Professor Jean Colbert was very surprised when Miss de la Vallière actually succeeded in something.

Waving the smoke away from his face, he finally could see a darker spot in the cloud where there was nothing before. As the cloud cleared, he could finally make out what stood there.

It was a man. _Which was impossible._

And, yet he still stood there. He certainly wasn't like any man he had ever seed. His clothes were so strange.

He wore simple cut pants and a jacket, but both were made of a material he couldn't quite identify. The hooded jacket looked almost like leather, but there was something just a bit _off_ about it.

The man was still standing completely still, even as murmurs began to rise among the students. Jean started to crouch down so that he could see what lay under the hood. But he froze as he heard a strange noise.

_Clack-clack-clack_

It sounded like someone's teeth were chattering. But it was a warm day, who could actually be feeling co-

The man lunged for Miss de la Vallière. He was unbelievably fast and before Jean could even stand up straight she was screaming in pain. The man was gnawing at her shoulder, blood spurting through the air.

Somewhere he got hear a student retch.

He lifted his staff to do _something_ before he realized he couldn't. He was the Flame Snake. He burned down whole villages. He didn't - couldn't – do delicate work.

He was all but ready to drop everything and bludgeon the bastard to death when he suddenly let go of his victim and ran at another students. Jean didn't let the moment go to waste.

Even as he wove the magic needed for his spell, he noticed how strange the man moved. It was unnatural. How something that twitched that much could be so fast, he had no idea. Even as the fire (the seductively familiar fire) bloomed from his staff, he felt a shiver run down his spine.

The blast caught the man fully.

He was enveloped with flames. His flesh was melting of his bones. His eyes had popped. His lungs were boiled from superheated air. The smell of scorched flesh and hair reigned supreme.

The Flame Snake didn't fuck around.

But there was a student down. She was losing too much blood, much, _much_ too quickly.

The whole incident, from the man lunging to his apparent death, had taken only _seconds_.

As students scrambled around to do _something_, Jean was relieved that someone had the sense of mind to help him in assisting Miss de la Vallière. Miss Montmorency was sprinting at Miss de la Vallière. What she hoped to accomplish, he didn't know, but all help would be appreciated.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Miss Zerbst and her familiar smothering the flames of the man who had so suddenly turned this holy day into a horror show. Then his focus was solely on Miss de la Vallière.

The wound wasn't very big, but it had nicked some arteries and her heart was pumping out way to fast. Even as he watched, even as Miss. Montmorency ripped her dress to shreds for something to slow the flow with, the flow _stopped._

_Oh Brimir._

_Not again._

He closed his eyes to murmur a prayer for the late Miss de la Vallière. No-one deserved to die like that.

He was surprised when he suddenly felt breath upon his face. Opening his eyes, he only saw a blur as the _dead girl_ bit into his arm.

And – _oh Brimir, save me_ – everything was suddenly so loud, so bright – _please, Brimir -_ and there were too many people and sounds and his arm hurt and his chest hurt – _help! -_and his head heart andeverythingwastoo – _NO! -_suddenand**hewasdying_hewasDYINGandh_**_edidn't_sayhewasso**…**

hungry

* * *

AN: Just your run-of-the-mill crack!zombies.

I particularly had World War Z (movie version) zombies in mind.

I confess, the title and hooded jacket was mainly a way to get you guys to think it was Alex Mercer (seeing as I'm doing the Rosario+Vampire/Prototype-thingy), but that was just me trying to be too clever.

Anyway, I try to keep the POV's diverse between the chapters, but I'm not quite sure how well it works.

Next chapter should be a silly/funny one.

Read, enjoy, review.

~GrinGrin

PS – it may be some time before I update again. My attention-span is growing shorter again.

Written: 16/12/2013

Posted: 16/12/2013


	4. What is Love?

_I do not own Familiar of Zero/Zero No Tsukaima or any of the other pieces of work mentioned in the story._

**The End of the World Spell**

**What is Love?**

Guiche de Gramont was having a Bad Day.

First he had overslept.

Then he discovered that his favourite cloak had blown away in the night.

He stubbed his toe as he made his way into the courtyard.

He still hadn't built up the courage to confess to Montmerency.

He had ogled Kirche (_again)_ after he promised to stop doing that.

Then his luck had changed.

Verdandi was a blessing.

Oh sure, not many people would see a _mole_ as a particularly useful familiar, even if it was magical. But for a golem-crafter of the Gramont-lineage?

There were few that were better suited. Did he need a casting-mold for a giant golem? Verdandi can excavate one. Did he need ore that was especially tuned to magic? Verdandi could find it and bring it to him.

Gramonts didn't need powerful familiars. They needed _useful_ familiars.

Then Louise The Zero had stepped up to summon.

And she had summoned the god of all golems, as far as Guiche was concerned.

It was reddish-brown, so similar to rust or dried blood. It was slightly taller than what one thought was average height. It had the strangest body-proportions, thinning in some places, thickening in others that made no sense.

But it had also arrived dented and motionless, sprawled into a heap with some strange object in his hands and a fine coat of ash covering its metal skin.

Guiche had, a first, not thought much about the apparent heap of junk Louise had summoned. His admiration only appeared after the droid was activated by the Binding of the Contract.

It had suddenly jerked and it was momentarily covered in sparks before it stood up. As it bend down to pick up its fallen tool, it spoke with what was most likely the most sinister tone any of the assembled students had ever heard.

It was the voice of a man, but it was slightly distorted and seemed to be accompanied by the hissing of a handful of snakes.

"Statement: HK-47, ready to serve, Master."

* * *

Guiche had never seen such a thing. A golem that could speak, think and learn? All his training said that it was madness, an impossibility.

Then why did he actually enjoy conversations with the thing? Oh, it was sinister, talking about death and destruction, but it was also rather profound. It could speak of philosophy. If that wasn't a sign that his entire family's history was wrong, he didn't know what was.

And so, he had asked the question that had bothered him so many times.

"HK… what is love?"

"Confused query: Why do you meatbags always ask me that? Smug statement: I am a droid. I am above your organic-needs."

Guiche had blinked. Someone had asked the 'droid' that question before?

"Resigned statement: But I suppose I will tell you what I told that particular Master. _Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope... Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds.__"_

That was… spectacularly unhelpful.

What had he been thinking?

* * *

AN: HK-47 is one of my favorite characters ever.

He is my favorite character in any Bioware game. That said…

_I do not own Knights of the Old Republic or any aspect of Star Wars._

Anyway… each of these takes place in a slightly different universe than in canon. This doesn't just affect the summons, but also the history of the characters.

In this world, the Gramonts aren't warriors, but golem-crafters. These golems fulfill roles as servants, guards and soldiers. There are many crafters, but the Gramonts are considered the best of the best.

These golems are all just mindless servants though, hence Guiche's surprise at HK.

I know it's short, but I'm struggling with the humor-aspect of my idea. Consider that the horror-humor-horror-humor format is now void. Another reason why it's so short is because I don't think I can do HK justice.

"Command: Read, enjoy and review."

~GrinGrin

Written: 19/12/2013

Posted: 19/12/2013


	5. Blink

_I do not own Familiar of Zero/Zero No Tsukaima or any of the other pieces of work mentioned in the story._

**The End of the World Spell**

**Blink**

Tabitha was scared.

Tabitha was scared out of her mind.

The screaming had started shortly after Louise's summoning went wrong. Or maybe it went right? Horribly so?

It had been quiet for all of a second before the screaming ha started. Tabitha had seen nothing. The smoke had blocked her view of whatever it was.

Then the screaming started. It was still going on. But the screams were being cut off, one by one.

Soon it was completely quiet. Tabitha finally looked up.

_Blank face, staring at her, strange clothi-__**BLINK**_

_He was gone oh Brimir what was happe-_

_::charlotte::_

_No one knew her name, no one knew it, she didn't hear that notwithherears_

_::__**charlotte**__::_

_**BLINK**_

…

…

…

…

…

* * *

AN: Yhep, it's really freaking short.

But what else can you expect when Slendy is suddenly dropped into a school?

… I don't actually think Slenderman actually belongs to anyone. If it does, I'm certainly not the owner.

Oh, and why no stalking? Meh. Wanted to do a something a bit different. This is Slendy when he isn't really toying around with people.

Also, Charlotte is Tabitha's real name.

… I think the horror parts are going to come up a lot more often from now on.

~GrinGrin

PS – kinda surprised I haven't seen one of these crossovers. Unless I missed them. If so, I apologize.

Written: 20/12/2013

Posted: 20/12/2013


	6. AIDE OF THE IMPERIUM!

_I do not own Familiar of Zero/Zero No Tsukaima or any of the other pieces of work mentioned in the story._

**The End of the World Spell**

**AIDE OF THE IMPERIUM!**

The first thing Malicorne de Grandple noticed was the smell. How could he not?

He'd been in a number of stables during his few years on this world, but everything he knew paled in comparison.

Founder-almighty! Some of his classmates closer to the cloud had started fainting! What kind of a familiar did something like th-

They hadn't fainted. People that fainted didn't scream. Why were they scre-

_Oh Brimir above! What was happening?_

It felt like something was trying to claw its way out of his skull. It was the day after he raided the wine cellars mixed with the day of his first migraine. It was gleaming fangs on his kin, the cawing of crows in his ears, the taste of rotting meat, the blackness of a clouded night in the heart of winter…

It was his magic abandoning him, that familiar _presence_ in his mind, his very _soul_, gone. Ripped away like it never was. In its stead, a dark maw threatened to consume him, to excise the memory of what he was and the possibilities of what he could have been from the fabric of reality itself.

Malicorne felt like his mind was being split in two.

That vile harbinger of his madness followed him down into unconsciousness.

No mage who was there that day would remember anything other than the smell and the feeling of something… ancient looking into their very souls.

Investigations would yield nothing, save footprints and a curious hole blasted through the wall surrounding the academy.

To this day, the Crown still has investigators looking for the Familiar of the Lost.

No sign would ever be found, save the occasional ransacked home, scorched patch of earth or curiously ragged gouges in the earth.

* * *

AN: I've spent a great deal of my holiday devouring the Ciaphas Cain series (at least until Cain's Last Stand) and I adore it.

As interesting as it would be to have Cain summoned, I would not be able to do him justice. Instead, we get the psychic Blank (and Cain's aide) Jurgen. I'm not going to bother to explain too much.

Suffice to say, Jurgen is a living psychic/magic nullifier who can drive psykers (or magicians) insane through prolonged proximity. Jurgen is the aide to Commissar Ciaphas Cain (**HERO OF THE EMPERIUM!) **and has various useful skills (expert scrounger, insane(ly good) driver, expert marksman, etc.), other traits (very brave, but also incredibly literal minded and follows orders without question or hesitation) and he smells (the last part is important).

… Just go read the damn books. They are frakking excellent.

Which reminds me…

_I do not own Warhammer 40 000 or the Ciaphas Cain series in any shape or form._

Anyway, the hole is from his melta, ransacked houses his scrounging skills, the gouges his attempts at driving a carriage and his general mission is to attempt to return to Cain.

Read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

PS- two things…

Firstly, I'm killing the poll regarding my ANs by tomorrow at the latest. It hasn't got a lot to do with TEotWS, but I'm putting it here anyway.

Secondly, I've been mucking about in my profile page. I've put requests, general info, milestones or targets and generally cleaned it up a bit. Pay it a visit and see if it can either help you or me, yeah?

Written: 06/01/2014

Posted: 07/01/2014


	7. A Grim Adventure

_I do not own Familiar of Zero/Zero No Tsukaima or any of the other pieces of work mentioned in the story._

**The End of the World Spell**

**A Grim Adventure**

"Ah, come now, child. I think you've known me long enough to realize no one escapes me if it don't want them to."

"That's fine and all, but aren't there a bit too many of them?"

"Oh please… what are a couple of thousand soldiers when measured against everyone I've taken in?"

Raising his scythe, the skeletal figure gestured at the screaming army charging towards the two of them. His strangely animate skull seemed to indicate an expression of amusement.

"They all belong to Papa Grim after all."

And with those words, the cloaked skeleton drove the blade of his scythe into the ground.

The grass near the point of penetration died instantly, turning brown and withered, before being blown away by the faint breeze. Only a dry, cracked patch of earth was left.

A patch which suddenly grew sideways, parallel to the advancing vanguard. It spread quickly, encompassing the whole of the battlefield in seconds. When this line of death had been drawn in the otherwise fertile plain, the Grim Reaper gestured with one finger.

The line suddenly expanded and ripped forwards, leaving only cursed earth in its wake.

When it reached the first soldier, he died. And the next. And the next. And the next.

All fell down, like puppets whose strings have been cut. Their bodies withered and decayed in the blink of an eye, leaving only their bones to decorate their passing. Their weapons and armor decayed in an instant, turning rusted and pitted with use.

This tide of death swept forwards, obliterating the whole of the army.

In the aftermath, the girl and her familiar turned away from the newly-made Plain of Bones.

* * *

AN: Yeah, so it's Grim from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy (which I do not own!).

But this isn't nice Grim. This is death, personified. He is nasty, cruel and evil. But also bound to Louise. Does this control over Death make her immortal? *shrug* I dunno.

Insomnia, again. It leads my mind to some strange places.

Anyway, I might do ore of these 'snippet' type chapters (i.e. chapters where I jump around after the summoning).

Read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

Written: 08/01/2014

Posted: 08/01/2014


	8. Tantrum Spiral

_I do not own Familiar of Zero/Zero No Tsukaima or any of the other pieces of work mentioned in the story._

**The End of the World Spell**

**Tantrum Spiral**

"GAH! My wine!"

Louise only had the barest impression of hair before the little man in front of her glared at everyone and everything his short stature enabled him to see. Louise was no giant herself, but even she was taller than this man-boy-thing.

"I swear to Armok, if I don't get another mug of wine in the next couple of seconds… unless you have something else to drink?"

What in the Founder's name? A midget with a drinking problem? What did she do to deserve this?

Thankfully, Professor Colbert spoke up. "We might have something in the cellar?"

The look the little man gave him was nothing short of terrifying. No living creature should ever look quite that hungry... or thirsty, if you wanted to argue the point.

* * *

"Watch where you're going!"

Tosid Idam, the legendary miner, stared at his broken mug.

...

It seemed like Armok had just granted him inspiration. But where was he going to find a kitchen, a body and 50 liters of rock nut oil in this strange place?

… ah well. He'd make due.

* * *

When Royal representatives finally paid a visit to the suddenly quiet Academy, they were met by a scene out of a nightmare.

Every single person within the walls were dead, their bodies mangled beyond recognition. In many cases they were only identifiable thanks to their signet rings or other customary attire. On later inspection, one particularly vicious murder seemed to stand out as the first.

One Guiche de Gramont. His dismembered corpse, missing substantial amounts of flesh and bone, was found in one of the old kitchens the servants had abandoned when the newer one was built 24 years ago. The only reason why they could identify him was because there was only one unaccounted-for blonde student remaining. Making the connection wasn't that difficult.

Strangely enough, whatever creature had raged at the academy had eventually tunneled away. When a expeditionary force of Royal Knights finally arrived to explore the tunnel-system, they were met with kilometers of twisting warrens, cutting through all manner of rock with contemptuous ease.

The system quickly became disorientating and many strange creatures lurked within this earthen maze, but eventually the Knights followed the tunnels to the surface. Even if they did lose most of their number in the blasted tunnels.

Looking around, they could see nothing of import and left to return to the capital.

Unbeknown to them, another group of their supposed lost comrades had also found an exit.

When the two groups met and discussed their escapes, it was clear that the tunnels stretched far beyond even the most paranoid of predictions.

Many a life would be lost attempting to map this ever expanding Maze.

* * *

AN: So yeah… Dwarf Fortress. Don't own it.

This dorf is actually based of one of my own. Tosid Idam was my primary miner in one of my forts. Seeing that I embarked in a region with an aquifer, he had limited use. To combat this, I also used him as a butcher and bone-worker.

Anyway, long story short, he was eventually gripped by a fell-mood, grabbed one of my Growers, made a pick-axe from his bones (sadly, I've since deleted the fortress, otherwise the description would have been top-side) and went on his merry way.

Until someone broke his favorite table during a brawl…

Let me put it like this – he is described as being very quick to anger and that he doesn't handle stress well… so yeah. Welcome back, Tantrum Spiral, my old friend.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Dwarf Fortress… it's kinda hard to explain. Imagine, if you would ,a mix between Dungeon Keeper and SimCity with psychopathic, alcoholic dwarfs as both citizens and minions. Again, I suck at explanations. Google it.

Don't try it though. To quote Hydral from TVTropes' quote page (Redundant, I know):

**Hydrall:** DF's got a big learning curve, no, learning cliff, no, a MASSIVE, SHEER EXPANSE OF STONE RISING UP INTO THE HEAVENS, COVERED IN !*Adamantine Barbed Wire*! AND LAVA DROPS, ALL WHILE ARMOK STANDS ATOP AND LAUGHS AT YOUR PITIFUL ATTEMPT TO SURVIIIIIIIVE.

If anything, he's understating it.

Anyway… I had a review stating that Death isn't evil, more like True Neutral. I wholeheartedly agree. But Grim, in the previous chapter, is but one aspect of Death and it's one that loves his job a bit too much. Besides, a lifetime (for them) of servitude under Billy and Mandy and just about anyone would crack.

Also note this list of suggestions I cannot implement (since I don't know who/what they are or haven't watched their movie/show of origin):

Weeping Angels (Doctor Who isn't really a staple-show in South Africa). Sorry dude.

Legend of the Five Rings's Fu Leng and Dark Kami of Jigoku (I've never even heard of these before that review)

Read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

Written: 14/01/2014

Posted: 14/01/2014


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